Oh Marc why??????

Anyone that knows me will know how much I love stars and how much I equally love Marc Jacobs. Why does he keep making things that I love love love but in my "real life" can't justify spending money on. Actually let me re-phrase that I could easily justify ANY purchase but I think the guilt factor would overpower the justification. 

The want/need factor of my personality is part of the reason I spent half of yesterday in tears. I went back to work. Well if you can call it that, it's actually better described as doing stuff in between conversations! I had always said if I could I would go back to work. I have a good baby and lets face it my "recovery" has been fantabulous so I thought why not. 

My decision to work again has brought forth many a varied reaction, almost to the point that I have felt guilty about leaving Sadie for the whole five hours. I have to explain that I am doing this as much for her as I am myself. I leave the house knowing that there are two bottles of booby juice ready to go and she is with my mum, so she has everything she needs food, security and more love than a person can ask for. I want her to not be totally dependent on me, well truthfully I actually do want her to be, but that's for purely selfish reasons. Also the extra cash means we don't have to go without the small things, I still have to go without Marc but I can deal with that, I can now keep buying the glossy magazines that fuel my wanted-ness.

So after a restless night filled with anxiety and tears I managed to finally get out of the house, alone, and drove to work with the tears flowing. Oh my gosh what a sooki la la!!!!! It wasn't terrible being at work, the ace kids that I work with made it a bit easier (I heart Gemma & Jaz), but I still watched the clock for the whole five hours. Once it hit three I was out of there quicker than Clark Kent trying to find a phone booth, I went from watching the clock to watching my speedo I think I could almost have flown home. Once I got home there was my little princess tucked away fast asleep. By all reports she had been a good girl for her nanny doing baby stuff sleeping, pooing and eating and Nanny had a great time. Now I just have to see if I can do it all again next week,,,,,,,,